


a fortune (of family)

by thisissirius



Series: a fortune in hand [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23759014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisissirius/pseuds/thisissirius
Summary: the evolution of buck and christopher's relationship as told by eddie.or a love story, a family, and finding home.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Christopher Diaz & Evan Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: a fortune in hand [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739947
Comments: 49
Kudos: 735





	a fortune (of family)

Eddie doesn’t want to open his eyes. 

It’s a Saturday and while he likes to grab a lay in when he can, he’s expecting Chris to yell any second for something to eat. If Eddie lies here and doesn’t move, maybe he can pretend it won’t happen and he’ll be able to have another hour. Or maybe he could text Buck and get him to come and cook them breakfast. It’s not taking advantage of a friendship if Eddie admits to being a terrible cook, right?

Groaning, he reaches for his phone, fumbling to get it turned on and sees two things in quick succession; it’s nine-fucking-am (!!!!!) and Buck’s sent a message promising breakfast. Eddie’s heart hammers in his chest for the split second he worries that he’s slept in because something’s happened to Christopher — but Buck’s been here an hour judging from the time he sent the text. 

Now he’s awake, Eddie can also smell pancakes. Probably chocolate, which means Buck can absolutely deal with the hyper eight year old instead of Eddie. Rolling out of bed, almost literally because he can’t be bothered to sit up, he scratches the back of his head, ignoring the monumental bed hair he’s probably sporting. For all his attempts to tell Buck to fuck off, he’s growing it out again. 

Heading for the bathroom, he notes Chris’ open door and the toys scattered on the floor. Yay, another day of fighting to get his son to pick stuff up off the floor. As he pads down the hall, he can hear the sound of television on low in the living room, and Eddie takes his time, trusting that Buck’s got Chris for the moment, and content that he doesn’t have to suffer through what passes for children’s morning entertainment.

When he’s done, Eddie feels a little more alive, even though he doesn’t look like it, and his jaw cracks on a yawn as he enters the kitchen. How can you sleep for ten hours and still be tired? Shaking his head, he narrows his eyes at the cleanliness of the kitchen. Buck and Chris combined means a mess of epic proportions. There’s something warming in the oven, and Eddie peers into the living room. His heart literally tries to leap out of his chest. Like, Grinch levels of growth going on. 

Buck’s sat on the couch, legs up on the coffee table, and at least he’s put a cushion down this time. The TV is playing some ridiculous cartoon, but neither Buck nor Christopher are paying attention. Chris is stretched along Buck’s side, hands enveloped by Buck’s 118 sweater, with _Buckley_ emblazoned on the back. Chris is peering up at Buck with a tired smile, chin against Buck’s chest. Buck’s arm is on the back of Chris’ head, stroking his hair. Eddie is surprised by the bolt of longing that hits him deep, his breath catching in his throat with the force of it. He _wants_. 

“-and I saw it on the floor,” Chris is saying with a shrug. He tugs on the sleeve of the sweatshirt. “I didn’t want to wake Daddy with my nightmare, and it’s like getting a hug from you when you’re not here.”

 _Oh no_. 

“It does, huh?” Buck’s grinning. It’s a supid, dopey smile and Eddie’s heart is definitely gonna burst anytime now. “Don’t remember leaving it here.”

“Daddy wears it,” Chris says. 

Eddie bites back on the groan before he can let it out. His son is definitely out to kill him. That’s the only explanation. Eddie can’t tear his eyes away from Buck, who’s smile softens dramatically. 

“He does?”

Chris nods, resting his cheek back on Buck’s stomach. Eddie’s afraid he’s gonna be caught, but Chris looks at the TV. “I think he likes your hugs as much as I do.”

Eddie’s cheeks are on fire, and he’s absolutely gonna turn around and run back to his room, but then Buck’s looking up — right at him — and Eddie can’t make himself move. There’s an awed expression on Buck’s face, but he’s smiling gently, reverently, and Eddie can’t remember ever being looked at like it. 

“I’m glad,” Buck says, quietly, but Eddie hears it anyway. 

“Morning.” Eddie steps into the room, avoiding Buck’s eyes, and grins when Christopher jerks up. 

“Dad!”

“Morning, _mijo_ ,” Eddie says. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“Yep,” Chris says, leaning up for a hug. Eddie lifts him into his arms and holds on tight, meeting Buck’s eyes over Chris’ shoulder. Buck’s smiling, warm and soft, and there goes Eddie’s heart again. “But Buck’s sweater helped like it does when you can’t sleep.”

“Good.” Eddie swallows thickly, quirks his lips into a smile for Buck. Buck’s answering grin is blinding. “Breakfast?”

Buck slides to his feet, his movements effortless, and leans in, presses a hand to Chris’ head and kisses his temple, cheek brushing Eddie’s. Eddie’s body is alight everywhere they’re touching and he doesn’t know what to do with the emotions currently battering the painstakingly crafted walls guarding his heart. “Just waiting on you, Eddie.”

“Pancakes,” Chris cheers in Eddie’s ear, asking to be put down. 

Buck hands Chris his crutches, and Eddie stands in the living room, watching Buck lead the way into the kitchen, his best friend and son talking a mile a minute, and that feeling of longing that Eddie’s had since he first walked in on them this morning is back with a vengeance. 

Buck's at work when Chris suffers another nightmare.

Eddie's woken in the middle of the night by a cry and he stumbles out of bed, into Chris' room. "Chris, hey, you okay?"

"Dad," Chris says, burying his face in Eddie's shoulder. He's shaking, clutching hard at Eddie and Eddie's heart breaks. Chris' therapist says he's getting better and Eddie thinks he's right, but it doesn't stop him feeling so useless when Chris gets like this.

"I've got you," Eddie says, kissing the top of Christopher's head. "Was it Mom again?"

Chris doesn't answer for a moment. Then he says, "no," quietly.

Eddie pulls back, running a hand through Chris' hair. "What was it?"

Upset, Chris looks down.

"Hey," Eddie says gently, pressing a kiss to the top of Chris' head. "You don't have to be scared to tell me anymore, okay?"

"I know," Chris says, sounding small. "It's Bucky."

Fear seizes Eddie's heart and he forces himself to calm down. "The tsunami?"

"Is Bucky okay?" Chris asks, his eyes wet, and it's all Eddie can do not to sweep him in his arms and take him back to his own bed.

"Of course he is, _mijo_ ," Eddie assures him. "You wanna call him?"

Chris nods, and Eddie does what he wants to, and takes Chris in his arms. Chris immediately clings in a way he does only when he's upset, and Eddie feels like a terrible father for a beat. He shouldn't'; he's doing the one thing that can help his son, and calling Buck. Perching Chris on the edge of his bed, the two of them shuffle backwards under the covers, and Eddie grabs his phone from the nightstand. He desperately hopes Buck isn't on a call.

FaceTiming because it's what Chris needs, Eddie is pleased when the call goes through.

"Eddie?" Buck's frowning on screen, looking a little startled. "Is everything okay?"

"Chris wants to talk," Eddie says tiredly. 

"Bucky," Chris says, cradling the phone between his hands. He's curled up against Eddie's chest, and Eddie can see Buck's face over Chris's shoulder. "I was scared."

"Hey, Superman," Buck says. He's sitting on the couch in the common room, Eddie thinks. He looks tired, but he's smiling, tracing the screen with a finger. "Did you have a nightmare?”

"Yeah," Chris says. "And Dad washed your sweater."

Buck laughs gently, eyes soft. Eddie can feel himself sinking into the mattress. "How about I tell you a story, huh? Would that help?"

"Yeah," Chris says with a smile, and Eddie grunts something appreciative.

Buck clears his throat and shuffles on the couch, probably getting more comfortable. There's a book stuffed down the side of the couch, Eddie knows. Buck's taken to leaving them around the station, "just in case he needs me, Eddie," like that doesn't mean the world.

Eddie closes his eyes, breathing in the scent of his son and letting Buck's voice wash over him. Chris is safe. They're safe.

“This is disgusting,” Buck says, making a face. 

Eddie snorts, already in the process of shedding his dirty clothes. There’s nothing worse than sewage to make your day brighter, he thinks, dropping his uniform off in the doorway to the showers. He feels sorry for whoever has to get this lot carted off to be cleaned.

“Just get me a brand new uniform,” Buck complains.

Bobby yells, “then you can request it.”

Buck rolls his eyes and steps into the shower stall. Eddie tries not to let his eyes linger as he does. It’s kinda gross to perv on his best friend without permission, but also Eddie wants a hot shower, not to have to blast his erection away with cold water. 

The call comes when he’s towelling off, and he fumbles for his phone. “Hello?”

“Eddie Diaz?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says with a frown. Buck’s head pokes out of the stall and he raises his eyebrows. Eddie shrugs. “Who is this?”

“It’s Assistant Principal Finlay.”

“Is Chris okay?” Eddie says, immediately alert. “What happened?”

“Unfortunately not.” Eddie can hear Chris in the background. He’s sobbing, yelling for him — and For Buck, he notes — and Eddie’s on edge. “Can you get down here as soon as you can, please?”

“I’ll be right there,” Eddie says, hanging up the phone. “I have to go.”

Buck steps out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist. “Is Chris okay?”

“Cap?” Eddie yells, and Bobby is immediately in the doorway. “Something’s happened to Chris at school. The Assistant Principal just called.”

“Go,” Bobby says immediately. “The shift’s over in an hour anyway.”

It’s only when Eddie’s peeling out of the parking lot, convincing himself that getting arrested for speeding definitely won’t help Chris, that he wonders if he should have asked Buck along. Shaking it off — Eddie loves having Buck around, but he can’t constantly ask things of Buck. It’s not fair, and one day he’ll go and Eddie’s going to have to deal with being left behind. It’s kinder — easier — to not force anything on Buck. 

When he gets to the school, Chris and the Assistant Principal are waiting. 

“I got here as fast as I could.” Eddie shuts the door of the truck and gets a good look at his son. His hair’s damp and the clothes he’s wearing are a little too small, definitely not the dinosaur shirt he was wearing that morning. Mrs. Finlay is holding a bag. “ _Mijo_.”

Chris is still upset, and he leans into the hug Eddie’s gives him. 

“What happened?”

“There was an incident at the water section.” Mrs. Finlay looks apologetic. “One of the students was acting out and accidentally tipped over the water play pool. Christopher was in the line of fire.”

“Dad,” Chris whispers, and Eddie’s grip tightens. “I want to go home.”

“Alright,” Eddie says. He looks at Chris’ principal. “Is that alright?”

“Of course,” she says kindly. “I’ve got his clothes. We had some spares and thought it best to get him dried off.”

Eddie waits only long enough to finish up with the principal, and then carries Chris, his crutches, and his bag of clothes to the truck. Eddie’s tired of not knowing how to get his son through this. Baths haven’t been a problem; Chris took to them almost immediately. His nightmares are usually contained to Shannon, Buck, or getting lost. This is the first time something’s shocked Chris like this, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do. 

Once Chris is settled, Eddie starts the truck and heads back to the house. He keeps looking at Chris through the rearview mirror, checking to make sure he’s okay. Chris is staring out of the window, quiet, and that more than anything tells Eddie that he’s not okay. It’s rare that Chris doesn’t utter a single word. 

Eddie’s about to ask if he wants to get pizza and a movie when he sees Buck’s truck on the driveway. Relief is the first emotion that hits Eddie and he swallows down the urge to say anything. He’s putting the truck in park when the front door opens and Chris sees Buck.

“Bucky,” he cries, trying to get out of his belt.

“Chris,” Eddie starts, but between one blink and the next, Buck’s at the truck. “Buck.”

“Hey,” Buck says, giving Eddie a quick smile. “Take your time, Eddie, I’ve got him.”

It should be irritating. It should piss Eddie off that he’s swooping in, taking control of _Eddie’s son_ , but he’s so tired of being by himself. He’s never going to be sorry about having Chris, about being left alone, but he desperately wants help and Buck offers it without complaint, without wanting anything in return. 

Eddie snaps out of it, climbing out of the truck and giving himself a moment. The mess of a shift, the panic of the last call, and the tumbling his thoughts have been doing lately are messing him up. 

“You coming?” Buck says from the doorway. 

“Yeah.” Eddie jogs the last few steps to the house and shuts the door. 

Buck’s got Chris on the couch, sighing dramatically. “How could they dress you in clothes so short, Superman? This won’t do at all.”

Chris cracks a smile. “It’s all they had, Buck.”

“Is it,” Buck says, just as exaggerated. “Well, I guess Dad better go find you some clothes that actually fit.”

“Pyjamas?” Eddie offers. “Then we can get pizza and convince Buck to watch a movie with us?”

Chris’ smile is grateful, pleased, and excited all at once. Eddie’s chest aches. “You’re the best, Dad.”

Eddie smiles, catches Buck watching, and raises his eyebrows. “What? Unless you brought your pyjamas, you’ll just have to deal.”

“Rude,” Buck says, clutching at his chest. Chris giggles and Buck smirks. “Your dad is so mean to me, Chris.”

Chris reaches out a hand, touches Buck’s head. “You saved me.”

The veer of the conversation startles both Eddie and Buck. Eddie’s finding it hard to breathe, and Buck’s gone pale. 

“I was scared because I got wet and it was quick.”

Sudden shock, Eddie thinks. Chris knows he’s getting in a bath, knows to expect it. The accident had been quick and he’d been drenched. PTSD isn’t fun, even less so when you’re eight, and Eddie wishes he could take the whole event from Chris’ mind. Buck looks devastated, and Eddie crosses the room, rests a hand on the back of Buck’s neck. 

“Hey, you with us?”

Buck looks up, blinking. “Yeah.”

“Good,” Eddie says gently. He leans down, presses a kiss to Buck’s forehead. Buck grabs Eddie’s wrist, fingers curling tight around him, and Eddie doesn’t dare move, doesn’t even want to breathe for fear of breaking the moment. 

Buck breathes out. “Eddie.”

Chris is staring at him, then at Buck, and something in Eddie breaks. 

“Buck,” he says, voice shaking, and he presses his face into Buck’s hair. Buck’s hands shift to his face, murmuring something softly that Eddie can’t catch. “Don’t go.”

“I won’t,” Buck says. 

“I mean,” Eddie says, pulling back. He drags his fingers over Buck’s cheek, hates how much they’re shaking. “Don’t go.”

“I said I won’t.” Buck’s eyes are bright, his smile wide. Eddie’s heart thuds double-time behind his ribcage. He wonders if Buck can hear it. He can feel it, his hand sliding down to rest against Eddie’s chest, and he curls his fingers into Eddie’s sweater. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Leaning down, Eddie presses a kiss to Buck’s forehead, his cheek, his mouth. Buck reciprocates in kind, soft and gentle. 

“I’m cold,” Chris mutters. “Also gross.”

Eddie laughs into Buck’s mouth, and Buck lets out an amused noise, pulling back. 

“Guess we better get some pyjamas,” Eddie says. 

Buck nods, caressing Eddie’s face gently before pulling away. “I’ll order pizza.”

Chris looks happy, Eddie _feels_ happy, and as he watches Buck grin, wrap his arms around Christopher and whisper, “I love you, kid,” Eddie feels so grateful. 

Eddie pulls up outside the school and blows out a breath. 

“You sure you want me here for this?” Buck asks. Uncertainty isn’t a normal look for him and Eddie raises his eyebrows. Buck shrugs. “This is kinda personal, man. I don’t mind being there for the aftermath, but I wasn’t sure you’d—” 

“Please,” Eddie asks, without saying anything else. He’s really trying not to overstep his boundaries, but Buck makes everything so easy. He knows how angry he gets and he doesn't want anything like that in the office. The school has every reason to call him in and he’s still not sure how to handle Chris and he’s tired.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Buck says, leaning across the console and resting a hand on the back of his neck. It’s more comforting than Eddie’s willing to admit. “You’re not gonna lose it.”

Eddie huffs. “You don’t know that.”

Buck raises his eyebrows. “I do. How long’s it been since you last wanted to punch something?”

Eddie shrugs because he doesn’t actually know. He still gets angry, still lets it fester too long in his chest, but he can usually find the words to tell Buck, or he calls Frank. Something always gives. He blows out the breath he’s been holding and pulls the keys from the ignition. “Let’s get this over with.”

Through the process of getting admitted, making their way to the vice principal’s office, and taking a seat outside, Buck’s a steady presence by his side. He’s silent most of the time, and though Eddie’s often told him to shut his mouth (usually joking, though there was that one time—), he wants Buck to fill the awkward quiet that surrounds them. 

“Eddie?”

Eddie looks over. 

“Chris is a good kid. You’ve done a great job.”

“I know,” Eddie says, because he does. That doesn’t stop the sense of failure settling low in his stomach. “He’s just never done this before.”

Buck hitches a shoulder. “He’s an eight year old kid. When I was his age, my parents had been summoned to the school more times than Chris has been in trouble.”

Eddie wants to ask, but he doesn’t. “Not sure that helps. You’re definitely a bad influence on my kid.”

“Hey now,” Buck says, mock-offended, and elbows Eddie in the side. 

Eddie laughs, managing to smother it when the door to the office opens. Vice Principal Finlay gives them both a smile. 

“Mr. Diaz. If you would come in.” 

“This is my partner, Buck,” Eddie says before he can stop himself. 

Buck says nothing, but smiles brightly when he’s addressed. “Ma’am.”

“I’ve heard of you,” Mrs. Finlay says, shutting the door and coming around her desk to sit down. She gestures for them to do the same. It’s a small office, nice and homely, but Eddie just feels cold when he takes his seat. “Christopher talks about you a lot.”

Eddie doesn’t know what to make of that; he’s heard comments before, usually from Chris’ teachers in regards to him talking about Buck. The fact that the vice principal of the school knows? Eddie rubs at his jaw, trying to hide his smile.

“I’m glad,” Buck says. Eddie listens to Buck; he knows how to read between the lines of what he’s saying and what he’s not. This time, Buck’s not just glad; he’s _beaming_. “Is everything okay?”

“Unfortunately not,” Mrs. Finlay says, all business again, and Eddie sighs, scratches at the back of his head as she outlines the incident. Chris doesn’t lash out physically; he uses his words, and he can bottle things up until they explode at home, but Eddie’s never had to come to school for this and he doesn’t know what to make of it. Chris isn’t talking, at least not to him, but Buck’s not said anything; Eddie trusts that he would, if it’s something serious. “Harry’s parents are content to let things lie with Chris’ apology.”

Buck looks between Mrs. Finlay and Eddie. Thankfully he doesn’t address the medical bills — and Eddie’s trying not to think about the headache with insurance — but he does sit forward in his chair. “I have some other questions, if you don’t mind?”

Mrs. Finlay looks at Eddie, and when he doesn’t say anything, nods. “Of course.”

“I was wondering,” Buck says, licking at his bottom lip. He also looks at Eddie, who nods, because whatever. Eddie’s not even sure what the questions are, but his stomach’s churning and he can only focus on Chris and how he’s going to deal with this at home. “Do you have any sort of mindfulness activities we can do with Chris at home?”

The question shocks Eddie. He stares at Buck, impressed and surprised, but Mrs. Finlay is already nodding, leaning over to one of her drawers. Buck’s cheeks are tinged pink, and he’s playing with the edge of his shirt, but he’s not looking at Eddie.

Eddie wants to kiss him. 

Eddie can’t kiss him. 

Biting at the inside of his cheek so he doesn’t do something stupid, Eddie watches Mrs. Finlay as she produces a handwritten piece of paper. 

“We don’t often get asked for these,” she says as she hands it over. Buck takes it, gives it a cursory glance, and then folds it. “I’m glad you did.”

“We want to make this right,” Buck says, and Eddie notices the hitch on the _we_. Again, he keeps quiet. “I also had some questions about his schoolwork, but I’m not sure if this is the right place for that.”

Mrs. Finlay’s smile grew. “Perhaps that discussion is better had with his teacher. I know she’s got plans for his reading — he’s definitely doing well. His homework is also impressive as of late. It’s what makes this incident so surprising.”

Eddie swallows. “We’ll sort it.”

“Of that I have no doubt,” Mrs. Finlay says. 

After that, the meeting is all but concluded. He and Buck don’t speak again until they’re outside of the school. Eddie feels like he can breathe for the first time in days. 

“Eddie,” Buck starts, looking afraid. “I didn’t mean to—” 

The words cut off as Eddie kisses him, hands fisted in the front of Buck’s shirt. He doesn’t know what makes him move, what shifts him from _I cant kiss him_ to _I have to kiss him_ but he’s doing it and _oh god, he’s kissing Buck!_

“Sorry,” Eddie says when he breaks away. 

Buck’s eyes are wide, tongue darting out to run across his bottom lip. “You kissed me.”

“Yeah,” Eddie breathes. He wants to make a joke but he can’t. He wants to run, but he _can’t_. 

A beat. Buck’s moving, hand on the back of Eddie’s head and he’s kissing Eddie this time, all tongue and teeth. Eddie clings to Buck’s arm, savouring the taste and touch of Buck against him. “I thought—”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says. “You just, in there, you were amazing.”

“I didn’t want to overstep,” Buck says, like he does every time. 

“Not possible.” Eddie shakes him a little, hopes he gets the point. “Never with Chris, you hear me?”

Buck’s eyes are wet when he nods. Between one beat and the next, they’re kissing again. It’s not the most appropriate place but Eddie doesn’t care. He’s waited a long time for this, they both have, and he doesn’t care who sees. 

“—Not sure about the planets though,” Buck is saying when Eddie walks into the dining area.

Hen’s sitting opposite Buck at the table, both of them tucking into Cap’s breakfast. As Eddie passes, he scratches his hand lightly through Buck’s hair. Buck grins up at him, then goes right back to talking to Hen. She watches them both closely, lips twitching into a smile. 

“What’s this about planets?” Eddie asks, grabbing some eggs for himself. Cap is nowhere to be seen, but the eggs are still warm, so Eddie doesn’t think he’s far. 

Hen sits back. “Apparently Chris’ new science project is about the solar system.”

“It is?”

Buck snorts. “Yes, Eddie, it has been for the past two weeks. Their science projects rotate. He’s done the sun and stars. Last week was about gravity. This week is the planets.”

Again, this is news to Eddie. He knows Christopher’s had homework, he makes sure Chris does it, but Chris never really asks for help and now Eddie knows why. “You help Chris with his homework?”

Buck flushes and Hen’s grin widens. “That’s okay, right?”

“Duh,” Eddie says with a roll of his eyes. Then, he thinks about it. “Wait, is that why you’re always FaceTiming in the evenings?”

“Yeah,” Buck says, and Eddie’s favourite thing about him is the way he blushes. Eddie wants to kiss him again but they’re at work, so no. “That’s—” 

“If you ask if that’s okay one more time,” Eddie says good-naturedly, sitting next to Buck and kicking him lightly under the table. “Idiota.”

Buck narrows his eyes. “I know you’re calling me an idiot.”

Eddie shrugs and tucks into his breakfast while Buck starts off again on the topic of the solar system. Eddie listens, watches, and when he gets home later that night, hovers awkwardly in the doorway of the kitchen while Chris FaceTimes Buck. It starts as it does most nights; Chris and Buck catching up, Buck always so intent on what Chris is doing and how he’s getting on. Since the fight at school, Chris is better and he’s even apologized, though Eddie’s not sure he’s ready to address the root of the problem.

(Eddie being a single father shouldn’t be a problem, but apparently having a dead mom _is_ and if Eddie’s grief for Shannon wasn’t so big, maybe he’d be able to keep an open mind.)

“Well, Superman,” Buck’s saying, and though Eddie can’t see his face, he knows he’s smiling. “I vote we build a working solar system.”

Chris’ eyes immediately light up and Eddie snorts quietly, knowing exactly the kind of state his kitchen’s going to be in when they get done with it. “You think?”

“I know,” Buck says confidently. “We’ll even get your dad to help, how about that?”

“He doesn’t have to cook, does he?” Chris asks innocently.

Eddie narrows his eyes, but his lips twitch into a smile anyway. 

Buck’s laugh comes loud and clear. “No, buddy, I don’t think we have to worry about that.”

Leaning against the wall, knowing he should be doing anything other than watching his son and best friend (boyfriend?) FaceTime, Eddie can’t tear his eyes away from them. Buck’s conversation with Hen that morning’s kept him thinking throughout the shift and now, through dinner. Buck’s always taking an interest in Chris. His schoolwork, how he’s doing, everything and nothing all at once. Eddie doesn’t know what to do with that kind of interest, with that kind of attention. 

Except that he wants _more_. 

“Dad?”

Eddie snaps out of his thoughts when Chris waves the phone at him. “Buck wants to talk.”

Coming around the side of the table, Eddie leans on the back of Chris’ chair. “Does he?”

“Hey,” Buck says with a soft grin. There’s definitely going to be more kisses in Eddie’s future. “You guys want company for dinner?”

Eddie shrugs, tries not to look as pleased as he feels. “I told you not to leave. Not my fault you didn’t listen.”

There’s something in Buck’s eyes that Eddie can’t put a name to. They stare at each other, Chris abandoning them for the living room, and Eddie slips into his vacant seat. He thinks of the FaceTiming, of Chris’ upcoming project, of the want he constantly feels with Buck. 

“Eddie,” Buck says, something heavy in his words. 

“Stay.” Eddie swallows around the sudden lump in his throat. “Please.”

Buck doesn’t say anything and Eddie thinks he’s got this wrong. They’ve only kissed, he’s going too fast. “What are you asking?”

 _Use your words, Eddie_. It’s usually a joke, but there’s a seriousness in Buck that Eddie’s not going to test. “I want you here. With us. With _me_.”

The smile on Buck’s face grows, but his eyes are serious. “I have an apartment.”

“I know,” Eddie says, swiping a hand over his eyes. He’s not crying, he just needs something to do with his hands. “Buck, I’m sorry, I—”

“That wasn’t a no,” Buck says over him, reaching out. He rubs a thumb over the screen, and Eddie leans on the table, fingers itching to do the same. “Eddie, you have to know it’s always a yes.”

Eddie nods, because he can’t speak, not anymore. 

“You know he’s got you wrapped around his little finger, right?” Eddie doesn’t know what makes him ask. Buck’s always so giving; does what Chris wants and gives him what he needs even when Eddie wishes he wouldn’t. He just doesn’t know if Buck’s aware how manipulative Chris is about it. Not that Eddie hasn’t tried to stop it a couple of times, but Chris doesn’t test Buck.

Buck frowns. “Who?”

Rolling his eyes, Eddie leans a hip against the counter. He’s watching the dinner but he thinks Buck chose something easy on purpose - it doesn’t require a lot of effort. “Chris.”

“Yeah,” Buck says, still distracted. “So?”

“You can’t let him get away with it all the time, Buck. It’s teaching bad habits.”

Buck looks up from the finishing touches he’s putting to Chris’ English project. As if it needed anything else; Chris and Buck worked on every part of it together. “Are you mad? I don’t want to overstep.”

“You’re not overstepping,” Eddie says quickly. Buck’s not mentioned that in a long time and he doesn’t want Buck to think he wants things to change. “I just don’t know how much you’re aware of.”

Buck doesn’t say anything for a moment, but when he talks, he looks Eddie in the eye. “You know my parents hated me? Didn’t care if I was around or not, especially after Maddie left. I didn’t - I didn’t know I was loved.”

“Hey,” Eddie says, but Buck holds up a hand. 

“It’s not... I know Chris is loved and that I am,” Buck smiles, small and warm but a smile nonetheless, “but I told myself I would never.... that if I ever got to be a father, something I didn’t even know I wanted but Eddie.... you gave me Chris. You put him in my life and I promised I would never be like my parents. I would love my kid and I would give them whatever they wanted. Love, things, anything. I know when he’s pushing his luck but he never does. That’s because of you but I think... I want to think maybe that’s because of me? That I can love someone the way I wasn’t loved as a kid.”

There’s a beat where nothing happens. Between one breath and the next, Eddie’s crouching on the floor next to Buck. He leans in, brushes a hand through Buck’s hair. “Evan—”

“You haven’t called me that in forever,” Buck says softly. “Ever, actually.”

“Well,” Eddie starts, then pushes up on his heels, brushes a kiss to Buck’s lips. “Is it okay?”

“Yeah.” Buck’s voice is shaky, his hands too. 

Eddie rocks back, holds Buck’s hands in his and rubs his thumb over Buck’s knuckles. “Of course it’s because of you,” he says, addressing Buck’s earlier question. “Chris learns so much from you, things I’ve never considered teaching him, and I am so grateful I chose to come to LA. I am so grateful you’re in my life. In Chris’.”

Buck laughs gently, sounding wet and weird but he throws his arms around Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie holds him, kisses his temple, and runs his fingers through Buck’s hair. 

“I’ve got you,” he whispers, means it with every fibre of his being. 

Chris pipes up from the living room. “Is Bucky okay?”

“Yeah, buddy,” Buck says, from Eddie’s shoulder. He pulls back, swiping at his eyes. “Just needed a dad hug.”

Chris seems to take that for what it is, and turns back to the television. Eddie smiles, wiping Buck’s cheeks. 

“Sorry I asked,” Eddie says gently. 

“I’m not.” Buck leans in, presses a soft kiss to Eddie’s lips, then a second. “I love you, Eddie Diaz.”

Eddie’s heart clenches painfully, his fingers tightening on Buck. Buck’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t say sorry, doesn’t try and change the subject. Eddie opens his mouth, desperately wants to say the words, but they won’t come. 

“It’s alright,” Buck says. “You don’t have to—”

“It’s not enough,” Eddie whispers. “For all of this I have inside of me. For you, for you and Chris. It’s not enough.”

Something in Buck seems to snap and he throws himself forward again, dragging Eddie up. It’s awkward, the way he’s straddling Buck on the chair, but Buck’s staring up at him, eyes shining, smile wide, and Eddie leans down, hands brushing through Buck’s hair. 

“Of course I love you,” he whispers in Buck’s ear, “and so much more.” 

Eddie’s dirty and tired when he gets back from the call. It wasn’t tough, just annoying, and it doesn’t help that Chris is coming sometime today with his class and he and Buck will probably miss it. 

“Don’t worry,” Buck’s saying. “I’m sure we won’t have missed him!”

Buck is always ridiculously optimistic about Chris. Eddie doesn’t have the heart to contradict him, so as they jump down from the truck, stowing their gear and making their way towards the locker room, he grins. “Sure of that are you?”

“Yeah, actually,” Buck starts. 

Eddie stops listening as they head into the locker room. A couple of guys are hanging out in there, laughing and joking about something. 

“—See the one with the crutches? Don’t get why you’d ever want him around.”

Freezing, Eddie feels his stomach plummet. He knows immediately who they’re talking about and he grits his teeth. Chris and his class have already been by, and this dick — a new asshole doing his probation at the station — was part of the welcoming committee. The only reason Eddie doesn’t punch the guy straight in the face is because Buck’s right on his heels and almost slams into him. 

“Eddie—”

“Apparently he’s been here before,” the guy continues. “Probably some retarded kid’s program or something.”

“Hey,” Buck says with a frown, and Eddie sucks in a breath, watching Buck’s face and wonders if he’s noticed the same thing. “Man, that’s not cool.”

The guy shrugs. Eddie doesn’t even remember his name. “Sorry man, but I call it like I see it. The kid’s a lost cause. Caused the whole class to slow down.”

Eddie’s anger is stirring in his chest. 

“Wait,” Buck says, and Eddie feels the breath punch from his chest. Buck’s face _falls_. Anger once again blossoms in Eddie and he’s trying desperately not to let it win. He’s better than this, can do better than this, even if he wants to deck the guy for— 

“Are you talking about Christopher?”

Hen and Chim exchange a look. Bobby looks like he’s about to step in, but Eddie can’t tear his eyes away from Buck.

Buck’s _furiou_ s. He stalks forward and hauls the guy up by his shirt, slamming him into the lockers. “That’s my son, you asshole!”

“Woah, wait.”

Nobody moves to help the guy (which later, Eddie will laugh about). Right now, he can’t move, can’t do much of anything except appreciate the look of thunder on Buck’s face, the way his body is taut, mouth a thin line. “No kid is worth the kind of shit you’re throwing out right now, but if you ever say anything abnout my kid again, I’ll kick your ass so hard, you’ll end up in fucking Mexico.”

It’s probably not wise to find someone so attractive when they’re being vicious and attacking somebody, but Eddie doesn't care. Buck looks ridiculously hot when he throws down, and it's even better that he’s defending Eddie’s son. It’s been a long time since someone's done it. At the end of things with Shannon, they had both stopped trying, tired of constantly standing between the world and their son when he deserved everything good. It’s exhausting and he can’t — maybe that’s why they didn’t work so well. Eddie’s desperate for someone to see Chris the way he sees him, and love him the way he loves him. 

Buck gives Eddie more hope than he’s ever had. 

“Buck,” Hen starts. 

“What?” Buck snaps.

“Hey, man,” Chim adds, holding up his hands. “We’re just here to patch him up after.”

Hen gives him a dirty look, and Eddie smothers a smile behind his hand. He really shouldn't find this funny. 

“Listen, if you let me go—”

Buck raises an eyebrow. “Did I give you the impression I was done here?”

This time, it’s Eddie that steps in. “Buck, you can stop now.”

“He insulted Chris, Eddie,” Buck says, and there’s the heartbreak that Eddie doesn’t want to see. Eddie closes his eyes and takes a breath. Looks at Buck slowly. 

“I know. I know he did, I heard, and I—”

“You always look so sad,” Buck bites out, grip still tight on the asshole’s shirt. Thankfully, he’s not making any move to escape. Probably because Chim and Hen are blocking the door, and Bobby’s looming in the background. “Whenever someone says something about Chris, you never say anything. Like you expect it and you’ve heard it so many times.”

“I have,” Eddie says gently. 

“I know,” Buck sayus, turning to face the asshole again. “And it’s not _fair_.”

Chim sighs. “Dude, I hate to say you fucked up, but—”

“Buck’s not really cool with people hurting Eddie,” Hen adds.

“He also hurt my son,” Eddie points out. Accidentally. _Really not containing the situation,_ a voice says in the back of his head. It sounds suspiciously like his old unit commander. 

Buck snarls angrily. “I have half a mind to drag you over to Chris’ school and force you to apologize. But your ugly ass would ruin my son’s day.”

“Not like it would matter,” the guy says, because he’s obviously dumb as fuck. “I won’t be apologizing to your damaged brat.”

Eddie sucks in a breath ,feels his hands clench into fists. Before he can move, before anybody else can move, Buck’s hauling back and socking the guy in the face. Blood, a yell, and Buck rolling his eyes. 

“It wasn't even that hard.”

“Alright,” Bobby says eventually, when the intern keeps yelling. “That’s enough.”

“Get the fuck out,” Buck says, finally releasing his hold on the newbie. “If I ever see you near me, Eddie, or my kid again, I’ll follow through on kicking your ass.”

Holding his nose, the newbie shoulders him aside, cusses out Hen and Chim when they don’t move fast enough, and comes face to face with Bobby. Who’s smiling. What?

“Oh no,” Bobby says, wrapping a hand around the intern’s neck. It looks like it hurts. “Looks like you took a vicious tumble down the stairs on the way out of my station.”

Eddie’s gonna laugh later, when he’s not staring at Buck. Buck’s breathing hard, his knuckles bloody, but he's grinning like he’s done something to be proud of. Eddie can’t stop the words, “Fuck me,” coming out of his mouth. 

Buck’s eyes widen a fraction, then he grins. “Okay.”

When the door closes behind Chim, Eddie doesn’t move forward until Buck relaxes. He moves closer to Buck, taking Buck’s injured hand in his. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“I know,” Buck says with a wince. He leans back against the lockers, looking devastated. “How do you even—”

“Sometimes I don’t deal,” Eddie says, knowing what Buck’s getting at. “I take it home, I build it up, and I street fight.” He gives a wry smile at Buck’s narrowed eyes. “What I’m trying to say, is that my anger builds. I want to hit everyone who says something. I want to — to take Christopher and wrap him up and never let anything hurt him. I know I can’t.”

Buck sighs, drops his forehead to Eddie’s shoulder. Now the excitement is over, the disappointment and anger have settled in Eddie’s stomach. He hates this, hates that Buck’s having to experience this and he doesn’t know what to do with it. “How do you protect him from it?”

“Again, I can’t,” Eddie says, and wasn’t that a hard thing to learn. “I love that kid so much, but human flaws isn’t something I can control, Buck. Nor is their ignorance and stupidity.”

“Well, that just sucks,” Buck mutters. 

“Yeah, it does.” Eddie forces Buck’s head up, waits until Buck’s looking him in the eye. “But what you did just now, standing between Chris — Chris and _I_ — and the world? That means more to me than anything else, Buck. You know that, right?”

Buck searches Eddie’s face. Whatever he finds must satisfy him because he smiles, brilliant, eyes so blue, and leans in for a kiss. “Yeah, I know that.”

“Good.” Eddie loves him so much and he can’t ever put into words how much. “I love you.”

“Yeah, I know,” Buck says, hands on Eddie’s hips. “Now, about that fuck—”

Eddie laughs, forehead to Buck’s shoulder, and says, “Not at work, Buck, _god_.”

“Hey,” Eddie says, resting his chin on Buck’s chest. 

Buck smiles, eyes still closed because he’s mostly still asleep, but he lifts a hand and rests it on Eddie’s head. His fingers lightly scratch at Eddie’s scalp. “Sleep okay?”

Eddie hums an acknowledgement and presses a kiss to Buck’s pec. “You got in late last night.”

“Pulled a double.” Buck’s hand in his hair is lazy, and Eddie knows it won’t take much for Buck to fall asleep again. 

“Why are you working so hard?” Eddie asks, the words coming out quickly because he doesn’t wanna be asking them.

Buck opens his eyes slowly, a frown furrowing his brow. “I just—”

“Because I thought maybe you were,” Eddie starts to say, hates himself for even thinking about it. “Do we not make you happy anymore?”

His biggest fear and Buck knows it, so Eddie doesn’t think it’s true — doesn’t want it to be true — but Buck’s never around much anymore and Eddie’s starting to worry. 

“Hey, no,” Buck says, wrapping a hand around Eddie as he sits up, dragging Eddie with him. He p[resses a hand to Eddie’s face, thumb rubbing the skin below his left eye. “Is that what you’re worried about?”

Eddie can’t say anything.

Buck’s face softens and Eddie hates himself all over again. Of course Buck isn’t offended by Eddie’s question; he probably doesn’t know there’s something to be offended about. Or is too good to say something. “I promised I would tell you if I wanted out, and I've kept that promise. Nothing could tear me away from you, or Chris, not ever. I just need the extra cash, I promise it’s nothing. I love you so much, Eddie.”

Eddie lets out a shaky breath and nods, smiling slightly. “I love you too. And I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“It’s okay,” Buck promises. He leans in for a kliss and Eddie reciprocates. “I know what you meant and it’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Eddie says, making a noise in the back of his throat. He kisses Buck’s temple. “You’re off for a couple of days now though, right?”

Buck nods, starting to smirk. “You got something in mind?”

Eddie laughs, rolls onto his back and starfishes on the bed., “You're on breakfast duty.”

Buck rolls over, settling himself on top of Eddie. Eddie’s never going to admit out loud that he likes it, but he can see that Buck knows. Arms either side of Eddie’s head, Buck’s thumbs brush against Eddie’s temples. It’s a soothing gesture he uses generally when Eddie’s had a nightmare, or isn’t with him. Eddie just likes it in general, and Buck’s soft smile is telling. “He’s gonna wake up soon.”

“I know.” Eddie thinks of the presents downstairs, of the day he and Buck have planned, and he snorts. “You spoiled him.”

“Excuse me,” Buck says, raising an eyebrow. “We both spoiled him. Those presents have our names on them, not just mine.” 

Eddie can’t refute it, so he doesn’t bother. 

Something in Buck’s demeanour shifts, and he reaches across the nightstand, into the drawer Eddie thinks of as his. He pulls it open slowly, tugging an envelope from inside. “I have something for you.”

“It’s not _my_ birthday,” Eddie says, frowning as he takes it. Buck sits back on his heels, but Eddie drags him back down until he’s settled next to him. 

“It’s kinda related to Chris,” Buck says quietly. 

Eddie doesn’t know what to expect when he opens the envelope, and he frowns, sliding his thumb into the envelope. It comes away easily — not sealed down — and pulls a couple of pieces of paper from inside. When he reads them, he thinks maybe he stops breathing for a moment. “Buck—”

Buck shifts, turns his face away to look at the ceiling. “My parents — I have money. It’s not — I don’t,” there’s a hitch of Buck’s breath and then he looks at Eddie slowly, swallowing. “I wanted to do something good with it. I wanted to — to give it to Chris.”

“All of it?” Eddie knows he sounds ridiculous, but there’s a lot of fucking zeroes in that trust account.

Another hesitation. “I mean, I gave some to May and Harry and,” Buck lists of the rest of their friends kids and Eddie’s not sure what the fuck is heart is doing but it’s not — Buck’s the best person Eddie knows and he doesn’t think Buck even _knows_ it. “But Chris is mine.”

There’s no hesitation, there’s no apprehension. _Chris is mine_. And he is. Eddie’s known it for so, so long. “He is yours.”

Buck nods, reaching for Eddie’s hand and he gives it, tangles their fingers together and squeezes. It takes a few moments for Buck to speak, but when he does, he sounds a little lighter. “I want Chris to be cared for, to be able to have something when he needs it.”

“You’re a good man, Evan Buckley,” Eddie says, because he doesn’t know what else to say. “I fucking love you.”

“I fucking love you too,” Buck says with a laugh, burying his face in Eddie’s shoulder. Buck breathes out shakily. “It’s okay?”

Eddie rolls over, dropping the paper to the floor — he’ll pick it up later — and covers Buck this time. He runs a finger over Buck’s eyebrow. “I’ve always worried what’ll happen if — if anything happens to me, or Chris needs something and I can’t do anything for him. Buck, you’ve just taken every worry I had about that. Relief isn’t something I get a lot. I love that kid more than I can ever put into words, but I’m not gonna pretend it’s easy. Until you. You’ve made my whole life easy and I don’t think I can ever thank you enough for that.”

Buck laughs, eyes wet, and he drags Eddie in for another hug. “And you said you couldn’t talk about your feelings.”

Eddie’s learning.

Just like he’s learning that Buck’s constantly going to surprise him. 

Chris wakes not long after their conversation, jumping into bed with them, excitement clear in his words and demeanour. True to Eddie’s word, he makes sure Buck knows he’s on breakfast duty, and Chris cheers at his chocolate pancakes. Eddie figures they can both deal with Chris’ sugar high this time. 

“Cards or presents first, buddy?”

“Cards,” Chris says with a nod. “Presents through the day?”

“Great plan,” Buck assures him. 

Eddie hands over the cards, and though there are a lot, as Eddie secretly predicts in his head, Chris opens Eddie and Buck’s card first. Eddie frowns. It looks a lot thicker than it did the night before. Chris eagerly tips out the contents and Eddie can see something like tickets sticking out. 

“Buck,” he starts.

Chris yells and immediately throws his arms around Buck. Buck’s staring at Eddie, uncertain, and Eddie leans across the table to look at the tickets. Again, his chest constricts, and his eyes snap up to Buck. 

Chris is immediately asking if he can call Abuela, and Eddie nods, distracedly handing over his phone because _what the fuck_. 

“Are you mad?” Buck asks, as soon as Chris is settled on the couch.

“This is what you’ve been doing double shifts for?” Eddie doesn’t know what else to ask.

Buck nods, still wary. “I checked with the school and with Bobby. I’ve arranged for us to have the week off. I thought — it was on Chris’ list of places he wanted to go. The one we made when we were talking about summer trips.”

Eddie remembers. Buck’s plans to keep Chris occupied during the summer were all they talked about for several days. “Buck—”

“Kennedy Space Center was on there,” Buck hurridley says. “He’s wanted to go for ages and I know you could never afford it on your own, but—”

“I know,” Eddie says gently. He reaches out, touches Buck’s cheek and smiles. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“I don’t know,” Buck says with a cheeky grin. “But you’re damn lucky.”

“Yeah.” Eddie leans across the table, kisses Buck gently. “I am.”

“So am I,” Chris chimes in from the couch, and Eddie can hear Abuela laughing through the phone. 

Eddie’s got everything he needs right here and he’s never letting it go. 


End file.
